Post by Rick on Apr 25, 2010 10:05:34 GMT -5
The Story of a Challenged "senior"...
At a certain age, everyone will understand this poor guy...
I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800
employees, all without a Blackberry that played music,
took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook
and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my
seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great
grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.
I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter
with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for
Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and
Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that
sends every message to my cell phone and every
other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details
of everything except the bowel movements of the entire
next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my
cell phone in the garage in my gun SAFE.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because
they say I get lost every now and then going over to the
grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my
tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am
supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was
standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife
as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.
Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I
got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board,
but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person
I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would
sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that
she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me.
She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make
a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right
turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the
name of the cross streets and while she is starting to
develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least
she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years,
but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all
at once and have run around digging under chair cushions
and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when
the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even
mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You
would think they could settle on something themselves
but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check
out just knocks me for a loop.
I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking
confused but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper
or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am
bi-sacksual.” Then it's their turn to stare at me with a
blank look.
At a certain age, everyone will understand this poor guy...
I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800
employees, all without a Blackberry that played music,
took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook
and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my
seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great
grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.
I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter
with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for
Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and
Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that
sends every message to my cell phone and every
other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details
of everything except the bowel movements of the entire
next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my
cell phone in the garage in my gun SAFE.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because
they say I get lost every now and then going over to the
grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my
tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am
supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was
standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife
as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.
Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I
got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board,
but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person
I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would
sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that
she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me.
She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make
a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right
turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the
name of the cross streets and while she is starting to
develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least
she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years,
but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all
at once and have run around digging under chair cushions
and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when
the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even
mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You
would think they could settle on something themselves
but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check
out just knocks me for a loop.
I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking
confused but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper
or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am
bi-sacksual.” Then it's their turn to stare at me with a
blank look.